Deciding when to shave: Reclaiming My Identity
Part III of Rory’s Decision to Shave
Ok, so I shaved. Now what?
By getting rid of what I hated so much, I was able to find a little love for myself again. It was small, but it grew surprisingly quickly. I remember getting myself takeout that night as a celebration and start to a self-care weekend, and boy was I glad I did!
While I was feeling more like “me,” there was a new aspect of public identity I knew I had to explore; I owed myself that much. So I went on a shopping spree.
I wound up coming home with several new outfits and a new sense of self. I hadn’t been so confident in years, and having new outfits to wear helped make me want to go out on the town so they were put to good use (waste not, want not!). The whole experience gave me an extra boost of courage to try something even more radical:
Ok, it wasn’t so much a “spree” as a “Find all the sales at the local outlet center and bargain shop,” but it did the trick. I challenged myself to try on clothes I never would have before: bright patterns, crop tops, more dresses, and even platform wedge heels.
As I tried on more outfits, I started to become more comfortable with my reflection.
I learned that pretty much anything goes with a bald head...perhaps even the more vibrant and statement-making the clothes were, the better the whole ensemble looked.
I figured if I was going to turn heads, I might as well look and feel good doing so.
An outfit from a lovely day spent in bookshops, cafes, and the sun.
I wound up coming home with several new outfits and a new sense of self. I hadn’t been so confident in years, and having new outfits to wear helped make me want to go out on the town so they were put to good use (waste not, want not!). The whole experience gave me an extra boost of courage to try something even more radical:
Dating Apps.
That’s right. I was tired of being by myself in a smallish midwest town (I only knew a handful of coworkers when I moved there 9 months prior, but that’s a story for another day), and saddened by my lack of social life. I grabbed my phone, snapped some more selfies, made my profiles, and before I knew it, wound up going on (many) dates and had so so much fun.
I don’t think I ever would have had the confidence to try my hand at the dating scene if I hadn’t shaved.
I am so glad I took that plunge. (And yes, I met someone, we’ve been together almost 2 years now, and he’s never seen me with a full head of hair).
Till next time!
-Rory
A favorite outfit for dates - the dress even has pockets & glows in the dark!
More from Rory
We all know what comes next. The daily terror of finding more patches. Being anxious about patches growing larger. Fear over patches showing when the wind blows your hair just the right way. Loss of control as you can no longer keep the hairstyle you love. I had finally accepted Alopecia as a part of my life. Not in a way that defined me, not in surrender. But in self-preservation.