This year my eyebrows began to fade due to alopecia and the thought of constantly drawing on my eyebrows with make-up every morning never appealed to me. But as the universe would have it, I was given the opportunity to explore micobalding. 

Getting locs was a commitment and losing them was devastating. I realized this loss was going to be permanent and that I had to take back control. I had to cut the remaining locs. Joy After Alopecia details my journey to finding happiness and goodness in all things despite the fact that I have Alopecia.

I didn't know how to supply self-love and care for myself. Instead, I thought, who would find me attractive with alopecia?  Who would make me happier?

We all know what comes next. The daily terror of finding more patches. Being anxious about patches growing larger. Fear over patches showing when the wind blows your hair just the right way. Loss of control as you can no longer keep the hairstyle you love. I had finally accepted Alopecia as a part of my life. Not in a way that defined me, not in surrender. But in self-preservation.

We all know what comes next. The daily terror of finding more patches. Being anxious about patches growing larger. Fear over patches showing when the wind blows your hair just the right way. Loss of control as you can no longer keep the hairstyle you love. I had finally accepted Alopecia as a part of my life. Not in a way that defined me, not in surrender. But in self-preservation.

For those with Alopecia, it is a daily challenge to look in the mirror and accept that how we look, and therefore who we are, will change abruptly and without our consent. At some point, the disease becomes less about losing the hair itself, and instead about losing our identity.